Happy Birthday!

Hello my sweet little girl! No longer are you a baby.. But you'll always be MY baby!
I know it has been exactly 2 months since I have written on here. I'm sorry for this. I am sorry I have to even have this blog at all. But most of all, I'm sorry that you can't be here with us, celebrating your first birthday. ONE year! I am speechless. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. Your friend Ember's mommy said it perfectly. "The days are so long, the months are so fast."  I have never heard more truth spoken in one single sentence.

I woke up this morning about 2ish after having a bad dream. I felt horrible. I felt even worse when I looked at the clock and realized what the day was. I knew immediately that 1 year ago that very moment, you were holding on to us. Struggling to save your own life. Had I known how things were going to turn out, I would have told all of those Dr's and nurses to take you off of those machines so you could spend the beginning and end of your life with your family. Right where you belonged.

Saturday we held a memorial for you. It was so beautiful. We released balloons, at cake, and released lanterns, all in your name. You even received a few lovely and very cherished gifts. It turned out to be a really good day, and it was all for you!

I also started a "virtual event" for your birthday on Facebook. I was so amazed that over 2,500 people clicked "Attending" on it. :") This ought to show you how loved you are by everyone!

I hope you are having the most extravagant birthday party heaven has ever seen. Eat lots of cake and get hyped up for Grandma Brita. ;) I'm sure she'll love that! Just know that everyone here misses you soo sooooo soooooooooo much! We're still crying for you.

Mommy loves you baby!!
Have the happiest birthday of all!
LOVE,
Mommy. <3